A dinner table scene.
Rimi: The curry’s good
Grancha: Can’t fault it
Dad: Thank you
Rimi: I might get a red pepper
Dad: The dish didn’t suit red peppers so I didn’t put one in, but there’s a whole yellow pepper in it
Rimi: I just meant for a side. I’d like to get a red pepper on the go
Granny: Ooh, yes that might be a good idea
Dad: But the dish didn’t suit red peppers so I didn’t put one in. If it was a tomato-based curry I would have included it
Rimi: I just want it as a side not criticising your meal
Dad: Look I I I don’t want to get in to an argument about it
Rimi: Me neither
She fumbles in the fridge
Dad: The peppers are in the sun porch
Rimi: Oh, do you keep all the vegetables in the sun porch?
Dad: The sun porch is a perfectly good place to keep the vegetables in the winter it’s cold enough in there
Granny: Would you like me to go and get you a pepper?
Rimi: No don’t worry
Grancha: I don’t want any more peppers in my meal
Dad: Neither do I, neither do I
She sits back down at the table, let’s forget about the pepper
Granny: Oh, do you know what we forgot to buy today?
Rimi: Light bulbs
Granny: We forgot those but another thing, Smash, we didn’t get any Smash
Dad: That’s a shame I won’t be able to make the bangers and mash tomorrow
Rimi: Don’t we have any potatoes?
Granny: Yes we do have potatoes
Rimi: Well we can just make mash from the potatoes. I can’t cook but I’ll have a go
Dad: I’ll have you know that I make mash from potatoes when I can - when I have the time - but the Smash actually saves a lot of time and that’s why I use it
Rimi: I prefer mash when it’s made from the potatoes
Granny: So do I
Dad: I prefer the Smash
Rimi: I don’t
Dad: And why is that?
Rimi: It tastes grainy
Dad: That’s because you’ve never had Smash made properly
Grancha: It all tastes the same to me
Dad: I use the Smash and get it to exactly the right consistency
Rimi: Well we can just use potatoes tomorrow as we didn’t buy the Smash
Dad: That's fine that’s fine but I’m telling you if you had Smash made by me you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between your potato-mash and mine
Rimi: You know what, I’m going to go and get a pepper
She exits the room
Granny: (Quietly) I don’t like red peppers, they don’t sit well with me in my stomach
She re-enters the room carrying a red pepper. Cuts it up on the chopping board and places the slices in to a bowl that she places on the table
Rimi: I do like the curry though
Dad: I cook it almost every week
Rimi: That’s nice. Does anyone want some peppers?
Grancha: No thanks
Granny: Not for me
Dad: I’d like to point out that because this a korma I didn’t put any red peppers in to the meal because it would conflict with the taste, that’s why I used a whole yellow pepper, but next time I’ll put more in now that I know you like them so much
Granny: No one’s asking you to do that darling
Rimi: I just like vegetables. I like to east them raw. So you don’t have to cook them or change your recipe for me
Granny: She likes to eat them raw
Dad: Also for the record there is no taste difference between peppers of this kind so I don’t see why you’ve chosen to bring a red pepper to the table when the korma contains peppers in it already
Rimi: It was dark in the sun porch and I grabbed any pepper. I didn’t see it was red until I brought it back in here. But point made the curry doesn’t suit red peppers we’re all agreed
Granny: That’s right
Short pause of realisation
Rimi: Hang on, if all the peppers taste the same then why were you going on about putting a yellow pepper in but not a red one because it would, what did you say, conflict with the base-taste of the meal?
Trying to avert the argument
Granny: I think there is a difference between the red and yellow peppers because the red ones don’t sit well with me
Rimi: And there’s a huge difference in taste between the green ones and these, don’t you think?
Granny: Yes yes
Dad: Not of this species of pepper they all taste the same
Rimi: I disagree –
Dad: (Resolutely) If I blindfolded you and gave you slices of the three different coloured peppers you would not be able to tell the difference
Rimi: I bet I could. Do you want to do an experiment? I can go and get the other peppers from the sun porch and we can cut a slice out of each one and then I’ll close my eyes and I bet you that I could tell you which one was green based on the taste
Dad: No you couldn’t. And No we won’t do that experiment
Rimi: Why not?
Dad: Because I want to save those other peppers for a later meal and if we cut into them they’ll go off
Rimi: You just don't want to lose the argument
Dad: No! Fresh vegetables do not keep if silly people cut bits out of them to prove a silly point
Rimi: Or if silly people don’t want to be proven wrong
Dad: Dammit. We are not cutting in to the other peppers!
Grancha: Don't raise your voice at the dinner table
Rimi: I’m loving the meal. And these red peppers, delicious
Dad: Good good I’m glad you’re enjoying the meal
Granny: Does anybody want any ice cream?