The Fear Appendix

Stage direction: Enter in to an empty home. This is an amplified absurd dialogue between a Person and a Thing.

T: Why are you so worried little hen? What’s the matter.

P: The worry is here because I’ve got the fear from not writing enough. I took a hiatus. I hitched a ride to finish this play.

T: And did you finish?

P: Yay.

T: Hurrah!

P: True… but what to do with this fear? I can’t seem to get back in the habit. The swing of things. It’s because of the job.

T: No it isn’t.

P: You're right it isn’t.

[contemplative pause]

T: Why do you look so worried?

P: Because the bin is about to explode / and I don’t have the tin of tomatoes to make the sauce I got the aubergine for / and the lid of my lunch box has broken and / and I need to hand wash two woollen jumpers / and

T: Take a deep breath. 1, 2, 3. What are you really worried about?

P: Putting things off. The world being too much.

T: The world is not too much. Regain slowly some perspective and let’s see where you’re left. Where are you left?

[deep intakes of breath]

[sorrow]

T: Have you tried thinking of other people? Or are you filling up your thoughts with little craplings and not paying attention to what’s really going on?

P: And what’s that?

T: Everything is in the moment so you’ve got nothing to lose. The more time you sit there worrying / the more time you’ll be sat there worrying / and then all you’ll be is sitting and worrying. Do something! Make something with your hands. Have a conversation. Think outside of yourself.

P: But I’m too worried.

T: Your paralysis of anxiety is to do with the world and all the things that can’t be set right in it. Am I right? But you have to approach things one by one and soon the knot in the noose will unravel.

P: Then all the dead bodies will fall to the floor!?

T: Yes or maybe you could see it as the measured fixing of relativity.

P: What?

T: To be free.

P: To be pronounced dead?

T: You’re unusually preoccupied with death today.

[anguished look]

P: It is because I’m being melodramatic.

T: You need to have a bite to eat, take a bath, sing some songs and then get on with the writing.

P: What if they take the house away?

T: Who are they?

P: People. I don’t know. Bad people.

T: Shut up. Stop procrastinating. Get up. Wash yourself. Do something worthy with your time. Stop hassling me by being in the same room. Tidy this room! Empty the bin. Leave the house and walk 3 minutes to get the tin of tomatoes. Live like a functioning human being.

P: Yes. You're right. Thank you [insert name of object here e.g. box of tissues] I will. I will rise to the occasion.

[flourish]

[fanfare]