Friday, 14 February 2014

Honesty In A Post Break Up Scene (To Comic Effect)


MOTHER, a tiny woman with a delicate frame. A first generation immigrant who has not grasped the verbosity of the English language. Well-meaning and simple.

GIRL, a 25 year old female looking for a cause.

GRANDMOTHER, a gentle forgiving and tough old bird, aged 79.

FRIEND, a giver of sound advice. A strong souled worthy listener, aged 25.


MOTHER: But he picked you up on the train. He asked for your number (then you gave). And now he leaves you, it’s good. It’s his decision.

GIRL: How is this good?

MOTHER: Because he made all the decisions. It is harder for him. He picked you and now he leaves you.

GIRL: Ok, you’ve made that clear. What about me though? I don’t feel good.


MOTHER: You said you had nothing in common.

GIRL: (Yes) We were coming at things from different angles.

MOTHER: So you were not the same. He saved you from a lot of pain by cutting you now. And he left you so it is good. It was his decision.

GIRL: Right, thanks for clarifying.

MOTHER: He feels bad about you more. And you were not common.


Mobile phone rings (Lovesong riff by The Cure)

GRANDMOTHER: How are you darling? We haven’t heard from you in ages, is everything ok?

GIRL: (Hungover) Yes… sorry haven’t called… all fine.

GRANDMOTHER: Were you out late last night?

GIRL: No. I just got drunk at home in my bedroom.

GRANDMOTHER: Oh. With your housemates – Peter and Elizabeth is it?

GIRL: His name’s Elijah. No. I just drank wine on my own in my bed whilst watching illegal online films.


GIRL: Don’t be concerned. Everyone does it though I’m not proud of it I just thought I should tell you.

GRANDMOTHER: Why were you watching bad films alone with wine?

GIRL: It was ‘Good Will Hunting’ and I was watching it because it’s supposed to be good.

GRANDMOTHER: Oh I see, I don't know these new films.

GIRL: And I was drinking wine alone at home because I didn’t really want to think about life.


GIRL: Don’t be concerned I’m not feeling suicidal, I just felt really apathetic about it all and melancholic so I just wanted to drink until I had to fall asleep. You know?

GRANDMOTHER: No, I can't say I do know. Did anything happen to provoke…

GIRL: My boyfriend left me. Or, he wasn’t my boyfriend but something like that happened so I feel a little heartachey at the moment which is why I drank and now I have a hangover. Does that all make sense granny?

GRANDMOTHER: Yes dear. You’ll be alright. Youth is tough it’s a tough time out there.


FRIEND: Have you been crying?


FRIEND: Are you sure you look like you’ve been crying. Is everything ok?

GIRL: I told you I’ve not been crying so why are you asking me that dickhead?

FRIEND: Because your eyes are all puffy and you’ve got make-up smudged around your face.


GIRL: What if I were to tell you I’m not wearing any make-up.

FRIEND: That’s a lie.

GIRL: My eyes were itchy. And I just had a moment that’s all.

FRIEND: Allergy?

GIRL: From life maybe.